Hi and welcome to a beautiful Summer Monday. We open our eyes, awaken to a beautiful day and then…back to work, back to the routine, back to dealing with other people who may not see the world quite as we do. Yes, others do invade our space, but other people are, well, people too! When they say something that does not sit right with us, it is so easy to retort with something dark. What did Mom used to say? “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”. While this crosspost does not advocate silence all the time, Marc does say to be mindful in your response, keep it peaceful, or refrain from responding immediately if necessary.
I love Angel and Marc Chernoff, and occasionally share their words of wisdom. For the entire post, please click here. Below is an excerpt. Blessings for a wonderful week!
Like you, I’m only human, and I still take things personally sometimes when I’m in the heat of the moment. So I’ve implemented a simple strategy to support the practice of watching my response, as I’ve outlined above. In a nutshell, I proactively remind myself NOT to take things personally. Anytime I catch myself doing so, I pause and read the following mantras to myself. Then I take some fresh deep breaths…
- You can’t take things too personally, even if it seems personal. Rarely do people do things because of you. They do things because of them.
- You may not be able control all the things people say and do to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.
- There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you detach from other people’s beliefs and behaviors. The way people treat you is their problem, how you react is yours. (Angel and I discuss this further in the “Self-Love” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
- Take constructive criticism seriously, but not personally. Listen, and then operate with your own intuition and wisdom as your guide.
- You are GOOD enough, SMART enough, FINE enough, and STRONG enough. You don’t need other people to validate you – you’re already valuable.
- If you truly wish to improve your self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth, stop allowing other people to be responsible for them. Stop allowing other people to dominate your emotions. (Angel and I build powerful self-confidence rituals with our students in the “Love and Relationships” module of Getting Back to Happy.)
- All the hardest, coldest people you meet were once as soft as a baby. And that’s the tragedy of living. So when people are rude, be kind, be mindful, be your best. Give those around you the “break” that you hope the world will give you on your own “bad day” and you will never, ever regret it.